Building Trust through Personal Connections

This is a continuation of the postings on leadership traits that build trust as illustrated in chapter 14 of the book titled, Leadership Lessons from West Point. Chapter 14 is authored by Colonel Patrick Sweeney. This post will discuss the attribute of personal connections or relationship building with subordinates. The personal connection attribute, as you recall if you read the previous postings on trust, was ranked in a survey of military personnel as being number nine of ten of the most important attributes for developing trust by a leader.


Colonel Sweeney begins this section on personal connections with the following statement: “This connection between the leader and subordinates is important because it increase the interdependence in the relationship and the likelihood that leaders will consider their soldiers as people and not simply as expendable resources” (p. 270).


This statement by Colonel Sweeney is directly opposite of the leader-led relationship mentality of Henry Ford. Consider Ford’s statement, “Why is it that I always get the whole person, when what I really want is a pair of hands?” Henry Ford viewed his employees as units of production rather than human beings with individual concerns and needs. As William Pollard states in his magnificent book, The Soul of the Firm, “We are not machines; we are people, with our own fingerprints of personality and potential” (p. 26). If my personal definition of leadership is accurate, i.e.,


the relational process of influencing and empowering people, individually and collectively, so they can grow and maximize the unique talents and gifts of their mind, body, heart and spirit, allowing them to achieve the goals and objectives of the organization and the individual,


then we as leaders or as organizations cannot be effective until we grow and develop our people.


To grow and develop people under effective leadership, they must be seen in the eyes of their leaders as individuals with their own unique set of needs, wants, fears, goals, aspirations and values. With this whole person approach to leadership, organizational and unit goals can be achieved if the individual team members grow and develop as human beings throughout the process. Pollard tells us, “It is not just what we are doing, but what we are becoming in the process that gives us our distinct value and is uniquely human” (p. 26). Leaders should ask themselves often, what is happening to my people in the process of carrying out the business of the organization? Am I treating them as a unit of production or as unique human beings? Am I manipulating or sacrificing them for the sake of profit, gain or personal benefit?


Teams want leaders who take the time to listen to their concerns and needs. They want leaders who go beyond words and take action to show they care. Our team members will not care how much you know until they know how much you care. Saying I care is not enough. A leader must take the time and effort to show and demonstrate the genuine care. Do not tell me you love me and then treat me like a dog, or perhaps worse, ignore me. You cannot show your care stuck behind a desk or secluded from your people. You must be out and about and visible to them. This, speaking from experience, is not an easy thing to do. It seems the paper work, emails, handling correspondence, preparing reports, etc., is overwhelming and keeps us stuck in the office. From someone who did not do so well in this area, I urge you handle the urgent and the important office work and then get out in the field and see your people. There always will be office work to do and if not careful you can make all of it urgent and important. I encourage you to make getting out of the office a priority equally too or greater than that of doing office duty. Put and keep it all in a proper perspective. Nothing is more important than developing a relationship with your team. It takes a visible presence to do that. It cannot be done through email, memos, and thank you notes.


Our subordinates want more than a steady pay check. Numerous surveys tell us that pay and money is seldom the most important motivator in seeking a job or profession. People want to feel a part of something bigger than themselves; they want to satisfy an inner need to belong and to provide a greater service to others. It is the leaders’ role to make the member feel they are a vital human being and a part of the team rather than just another cog in the wheel. To make individuals feel this vital connection to the overall success of the team we, as leaders, must get to know them as individuals. Our team should know that their leaders understand and see them as unique individuals and that they relate to them and their many concerns as a team members.


As we learn about their individual concerns and needs we learn what motivates them. When we know what motivates people we grow our leadership ability to influence them in ways that contribute to meeting their needs and goals. When they feel that they are an indispensable part of something great and important their efforts to meet the goals of the unit or organization will grow proportionally. This in turn adds value and leads to the success of the team and the organizational mission. What occurs is a true alignment in the effort to achieve individual goals and goals of the team and organization.


Communicate and show that you care and a relationship of mutual trust will manifest itself within your team. Every individual on the team should be made to feel indispensable to the team. Truly caring for our people and treating them with the dignity and worth they deserve as individual human beings, rather than treating them as just another pair of hands, is indispensable to your leadership success and the success of your team and organization.


In closing, I again quote William Pollard: “People are playing different instruments with different parts, but when they perform together from the same musical score, they produce beautiful music. They produce value” (p. 33). The duty of the leader is to align the musical notes of the organization with the notes of the individual team members. When the music from many parts come together in harmony the results are phenomenal.


Esse Quam Videri

Carpe Diem

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