Building Trust through Self-Control
The members of your team are always watching you, their leader. They continually assess the manner in which you do your job and the effect it has on them. They watch every move you make, your body language, the tone and reflection of your voice, and your level of emotional anxiety. Your subordinates are always assessing whether to trust you or not. Colonel Sweeney puts it this way, “Leaders must be aware that subordinates are always assessing their reactions to stress to predict how they will react in extreme stressful situations where the consequences have the greatest importance” (p.263). This assessment never ends; it’s the price of leadership.
Depending on how you handle yourself under normal stress will determine whether your team will place their trust in you to lead them into the deep and dark unknowns. They will not trust you to lead them in difficult times if you cannot handle the daily stress of normal duties. If a leader blows his cool over small stuff and acts like a kid who has just had his toy taken away, he will be perceived as a hot head. Subordinates will always be uncomfortable with the leadership of a hot head and will follow only as far as duty demands.
If the leader losses his head and self-control during any level of stressful situations and starts yelling and blaming everyone around him he is, plainly speaking, unfit for leadership. A hot headed leader cannot make sound, rational, and timely decisions and cannot be trusted and should not be trusted either. As Major Bach said in his speech to graduating army leaders, “In garrison or camp many instances will arise to try your temper and wreck the sweetness of your disposition. If at such times you “fly off the handle” you have no business to be in charge of men” (See August 8 post for the entire speech). When the bullets of war or business begin to fly we all want a leader who is clear and cool-headed; a leader on whom we can trust to lead us out of the mess and to higher ground.
If your subordinates continually observe that you are cool, calm, and collected during a continuum of stressful situations not only will they trust you but you gain leadership credibility with them. They will come to the right conclusion that you are the real thing, a real leader who is dependable in a pinch; a leader who will make the right decision at the right time, and for the right reason. I recall a scene from a movie I was watching about the Vietnam War where a regiment was in furious battle with an overwhelming outnumbered enemy. The enemy had overrun the perimeter and was within the command post area. The commander was on the radio calling in an artillery strike on the very ground he was standing. I could not get over how he was so exceptionally cool and calm even though he knew he was calling in his own death from friendly fire. This is the kind of heroic leadership that people will follow into hell armed with only a glass of ice water. If the commander could keep his cool moments before certain death, I think we can keep ours’ during much less dire conditions, don’t you?
Subordinates especially watch closely how you react when they bring you bad news. How you react also determines your level of trustworthiness in their eyes. They ask themselves, “Can I trust this guy with bad news?” If a leader goes off when a subordinate brings disturbing information, he is less likely in the future to receive bad news. The subordinate will either not bring it or water it down so as to keep him from blowing up with him. It is just plain human nature to try to avoid a whipping.
This behavior is nothing more than killing the messenger because of the message. Lines of communication will break down as the leader will receive less information and facts or at best receives less reliable intelligence. You have got to be able to handle the truth if you want to consistently receive reliable information in a manner that you can use in a timely and effectual way to make right decisions. Always remember that good news or bad news should be equally appreciated.
A few years ago I was attending a mandatory supervisors’ meeting with the new organizational commander. He began the meeting by expressing his belief in openness and asked everyone to speak their minds. One officer spoke up (huh, wonder who that was?) and said the “wrong thing” and the commander berated him in front of his peers because it was not what the commander wanted to hear. Do you think anyone else opened their mouth during the meeting? No way! They were all afraid of having their head bitten off. Do you think there was some important information the commander need to hear and would have heard had he not bit one of the hands that fed him? I believe so!
If you want to shut down the vital lines of communication then kill the messenger over bad intelligence. No intelligence or watered down intelligence all leads to two things, i.e., organizational ineffectiveness and leadership ineptitude.
As Colonel Sweeney tells us:
Leaders who can manage stress and maintain composure have the means to apply their skills to make decisive decisions in tough situations. Also, their ability to maintain composure when and after receiving bad news facilitates the open flow of communications with subordinates, which greatly facilitates the leader’s ability to make timely and informed decisions (p.265).
So, a leader’s ability and emotional stability to handle stress and to be in full self-control at all times leads to his credibility and trust with his team. Your team will be willing to run through the hot fires of hell with you as long as they know you can handle the heat.
Leaderup!
Esse Quam Videri
Carpe Diem
Arete’
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